No Giggity, Family Guy’s Quagmire Is Getting His Junk Cut Off Soon

Season 16 of Family Guy is coming to an end sooner rather than later, and one member of Peter’s crew is going to face a very personal crisis in the penultimate episode. Quagmire is going to get his junk cut off in the next episode. No, that’s not a joke. The character who prizes his junk more than anything else is going to lose it, which… should be interesting. Will Quagmire drop his last “Giggity” in the episode?

The episode is hilariously called “The Unkindest Cut.” It will see Quagmire lose his most prized piece of personal anatomy in a freak accident. There’s no news at this point whether or not Quagmire will be permanently maimed south of the belt border, but the episode will force him to learn how to live his life without it. Given what viewers have seen of Quagmire’s life over the past decade and a half, it’s probably safe to say that a lot will have to change for him. If he can’t revolve his life around sex, what can he do? Operate like a normal, non-skeezy, non-rapey person?

We’ll have to wait and see. The episode will also see Stewie and Brian on a mission to find Mort after they discover a $10,000 reward for his delivery to the police due to involvement in a drug scam. The “Unkindest Cut” title indicates that Quagmire’s incident will drive the main plot of the episode, but there will be a Stewie-centric side plot to take up some of the screentime as well.

Of course, given that this is Family Guy we’re talking about, we shouldn’t count on Quagmire remaining junkless for however much longer the series runs. The show has proven that it can undo just about anything it does, and it’s not exactly constrained by what is possible in real life. However Quagmire suffers his injury, my money is on him restored by the end of the half hour. No details are currently available about how he ends up losing his dearest body part are currently available, but a sneak peek pic courtesy of TVLine’s Twitter shows that the incident will probably go down on the high seas:

You can see Quagmire dismembered — or perhaps de-membered — in “The Unkindest Cut,” which airs on Sunday, May 13 at 9 p.m. ET on Fox. Family Guy is one of the dwindling numbers of Fox comedies not to be cancelled, although it has not yet been officially renewed. Still, the odds are pretty good for Family Guy to be back on the airwaves in the fall. Whether Quagmire will be put back together for a Season 17 remains to be seen.

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